


Hopefully it's Enough

by onihunter305



Series: Malec/Madzie [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Concerned Magnus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Alec, M/M, Magnus and Alec in Love, Panic Attacks, Parental Magnus, Post-Episode S2:E10, parental alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 01:32:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10232699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onihunter305/pseuds/onihunter305
Summary: Magnus could tell something was wrong with Alec from the moment he touched his elbow outside of the Institute. He could feel the tremors that shook his body. He knew Alec needed someone to take care of him, and even though he was momentarily distracted by Alec’s declaration of love, he was going to make sure he took care of the man he loved.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this takes place right after the epic "I love you" moment in episode 10. I know everyone was freaking out just as I was when it finally happened! How wonderful it was to finally see Alec expressing his emotions and the reciprocation...its almost enough to tide me over until June 5th. 
> 
> Anyway, this was kind of my take on how it should have gone after that moment, with a touch of Madzie thrown in there because I love her.

Magnus could see how shaken Alec was after his confession of fear, the young shadowhunter seemed wholly unsteady. He reached out and gripped his arm, feeling his body trembling. Magnus felt so concerned, seeing the state Alec was in. Alec admitted how afraid he was in the moments the soul sword was activated and even though Magnus didn’t doubt that, he was concerned about how this fear was physically effecting the taller shadowhunter. 

Not knowing what else to do, Magnus admitted to feeling the same fear when he learned that Alec was locked in the institute with the maniac known as Valentine, his face showing how scared he was throughout the whole experience. 

“Magnus I — I love you,” Alec said, his voice acting without his permission. He felt as though a lot of his body was doing that at the moment. He was still struggling to breath and couldn’t understand why, all he could do was stare at Magnus. 

“I love you too,” Magnus said, after what felt like an hour to Alec. Magnus had felt that way for a while but kept it to himself, not wanting to scare Alec. From the moment the younger man had handed him a seemly small gift in the form of a token of protection after their second date he knew he was gone. Never before had he received such an open and honest gift and it had forced him to reevaluate all of this previous relationships. He realized, sitting at the bar that night with Maia, that he loved Alec.

Alec felt as though he was going to pass out, in his wildest dreams he never thought that Magnus would love him back. Upon hearing those words he lunged forward, gripping Magnus’ shoulders to bring him closer, and attached his lips to Magnus’. He felt Magnus’ arms come around his body and grip his back as he returned the kiss. 

Although Magnus was an active participant in their chaste kiss, through their contact he could feel how out of sorts Alec was and it worried him. Alec’s body was trembling, he couldn’t breath, and his eyes were unfocused with unshed tears. Magnus knew Alec was seconds away from a full blown panic attack. 

Eventually they separated, but only slightly. Alec keeping as much physical contact as humanly possible, his forehead touching Magnus’. Just as he thought Magnus was going to pull back and away he pulled him back in, gripping him tightly and closing his eyes, trying to keep himself from crying. 

Magnus gripped Alec just as tightly for two reasons, he wanted to keep a physical reminder of the fact that Alec was safe but he also hoped his touch would ground the panicked shadowhunter. 

Magnus felt tears of his own blossom in his eyes as he realized how close they had come to losing each other. He cracked an eye and noticed there were quite a few shadowhunters who had stopped what they were doing to watch their interaction. Knowing Alec wouldn’t appreciate that, and still worried he was about to break down completely, Magnus opened a portal. Keeping a strong grip on Alec’s arm he pulled back slightly. He quickly laced their fingers and pulled him towards the swirling mass of magic. He felt Alec’s grip tighten as they entered the portal together. 

~*~

As soon as they were in the comfort and security of his own home, Magnus quickly led Alec to the couch and sat him down. If Alec was going to pass out, Magnus feared he wouldn’t have the strength to catch him. He went to stand and get Alec a cup of water, but Alec’s strong grip on his arm prevented him from going too far.

“Please, don’t leave,” Alec said, his voice soft and pleading. Magnus took a moment to really assess Alec’s condition. He was sweating, his eyes unfocused and glassy, he was still panting slightly and Magnus could feel the slight tremors that wracked his body from time to time. His heart broke for the man he loved, the years he spent repressing every and all feelings he had made him woefully unprepared for the amount of emotions he went through tonight. 

“Alexander, love, I think you are having a panic attack,” Magnus said softly, taking a seat next to Alec on the couch to grip his hands tightly and summoning two glasses of water. Alec’s unfocused eyes widened as he looked at Magnus. “I know you were scared before, terrified really. But I’m alright, and you’re alright. We’re both alright,” Magnus coached, trying to get Alec to focus on the sound of his voice. He could see that he was getting to Alec, that he was listening to him. “Okay, I am going to pull you close to me, and we are going to breath together,” Magnus continued. He pulled Alec gently to his chest and allowed him to lean heavily on him. He took deep, slow, breaths and encouraged Alec to do the same. 

Eventually he could feel some of the stress and anxiety leave Alec’s body, his chest rising and falling to match Magnus’ careful breathing. 

“You are doing so good Alexander, I’m so proud of you,” Magnus praised, kissing Alec’s sweaty head gently. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around Alec’s body, making sure he knew that he was loved and protected and most importantly, not alone. 

It took a good ten minutes before Alec’s breathing returned to normal, his body all but jelly against Magnus. He didn’t seem to have the strength to do anything but just lay there, his head pillowed against Magnus’ chest.

“Thank you,” Alec said, relieved that he no longer felt like he was dying. He had never felt that level of fear and he had never had a panic attack before, it was scary for the always stoic shadowhunter. 

“Anytime Alexander, I love you. It distresses me to see you this unsettled,” Magnus said, going out on a limb. He knew Alec had initiated those three little words first last time they had exchanged those sentiments, but he had been in the middle of a panic attack and Magnus wasn’t sure if he meant it. Now that Magnus had put it out there again, there was no going back and pretending it never happened. Not that Magnus wanted to pretend it never happened, he loved Alec and wanted the younger man to know it, but he knew what a big step that was in their relationship. 

“I love you too,” Alec mumbled against his chest. Magnus smiled against Alec’s hair. Everything they had gone through, all the trials they had faced, it was worth it in this moment. At this moment Alec was safe in his arms, Alec loved him, Alec wasn’t going anywhere. 

Before too long Magnus could feel all the tension leave Alec’s body as he fell asleep. He continued to gently rake his fingers through his unruly dark hair as they laid there. His mind was still racing from the previous day’s events and even though he was going on 24 hours of no sleep, he didn’t think he would be getting any anytime soon. He knew this battle was far from over, even though the Clave had Valentine in their custody, the soul sword and the mortal cup were still missing. 

His eyes clenched shut as he thought about all the lives lost last night, all the shadowhunters, werewolves, seelies, and vampires who perished in the battle to take Valentine. He was sure Luke was hurting, half of his pack had been wiped out when the soul sword was activated. Raphael had lost clan members as well, and although he was grateful his pseudo-son was alive and well he would not soon forget how that man had ordered others to bind his hands and make him feel powerless. As for Meliorn, Magnus felt uneasy about how the seelie’s were going to take this defeat, he feared the Seelie Queen would declare war upon all of them for this loss.

He was shaken from his musing by his phone vibrating in his back pocket. Although he would love to ignore it, and the rest of the world for a little while, he knew there were a lot of people who may potentially need him at this moment in time. He also worried that it could be Alec’s family looking for him. 

Of all the people he expected to see on his screen, Catarina’s name was definitely pretty low on the list. Hoping nothing was wrong he carefully maneuvered himself so that he could answer. He snapped his fingers to create a private space around his head so his conversation wouldn’t bother the sleeping shadowhunter that was resting on his chest. 

“Everything alright my dear?” Magnus asked, trying to sound calm even though he wanted to throw his phone under a pillow and pretend it didn’t exist.

“She’s dreadfully unhappy here Mags,” Catarina Loss said quickly, sounding frustrated on the other end.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked.

“Madzie! She doesn’t want to be here with me. She keeps asking for her cat-eyed friend, Magnus,” she said exasperated. “I don’t dislike children, in the field I work they are a staple, but she is so unhappy here with me. Pouting, crying, getting angry. Her magic is wild and unpredictable as is her emotions.”

“I’m in a bit of a situation as well at the moment Cat,” Magnus said, trying to speak slowly so his chest didn’t move too much. He’d hate to wake Alec when he could tell how exhausted the man had been.

“Is your shadowhunter alright? Was he hurt in the battle?” Catarina asked, knowing there was no other person in the world who would keep Magnus from rushing to help a young warlock child.

“He is unharmed, physically, but he had a panic attack earlier. It was terrifying,” Magnus admitted, not feeling ashamed in the slightest to share his fear with one of his oldest friends.

“Oh Magnus, how he is?” She asked, immediately concerned.

“Sleeping now. And Cat…” Magnus paused, “He told me he loved me,” he finally admitted, feeling a smile grace his face without warning. Although nothing had seemed to go their way in the past 48 hours or so, Alec loving him was something that would always make a smile come to his face and butterflies flutter around his stomach. 

“I’m so happy for your Magnus, if anyone deserves love it is you. And as much as I’d love to give you and Alec time to just hold each other, this child isn’t going to stand with staying with me for long,” she said sadly. 

“Alright my dear, let me settle Alexander and then I will come get her,” Magnus sighed. He understood Madzie’s fear and uncertainty, she had been used and manipulated for a lot of her young life and as soon as she thought she found someone who would protect her, he passed her off to someone else. 

“Don’t be silly Magnus, I’ll bring her to you,” Catarina said, not about to allow Magnus to leave Alec so soon after his emotional break down. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, grateful for her offer. “My wards are up right now, you’ll have to portal outside of the building and get buzzed in the mundane way. Is that alright?”

“Of course, I’d have yelled at you if your wards weren’t up after last night,” she said.

“Thank you, I’ll see you soon,” he said before ending the call. He was relieved he wouldn’t have to leave Alec alone after what they had been through that night. He wanted nothing more than to stay blanketed in his warm weight. Unfortunately he knew a young warlock child would not stay quiet while they snuggled on the couch. 

He carefully tried to extract himself from Alec’s grip, feeling Alec’s hands tightened around him as he attempted to move. 

“Alexander, I would like to move you to my bedroom if that's alright. We will soon have a visitor,” Magnus said softly, wanting to wake him gently.

“Mag—nus?” Alec said, coming out of his sleep in a daze. 

“Yes love. I’m so sorry to wake you, but if you want to sleep you may do so in my bedroom. Catarina is bringing Madzie over, it would appear that young lady wants to be with me at the moment and is giving Cat a hard time,” Magnus explained.

“Madzie is coming over?” Alec asked and Magnus felt like rolling his eyes as Alec clearly only heard what he wanted to hear.

“Yes dear, but you are exhausted and need sleep. Let me settle you in the bedroom,” Magnus tried again.

“I won’t be able to sleep if you’re not there,” Alec finally admitted, feeling embarrassed by the admission. 

“Alright dear,” Magnus said, kissing Alec’s forehead softly. He could tell Alec was still shaken from the night’s events and was uneasy about Magnus being out of his sight.

Together they sat, huddled together on the couch, Magnus playing with Alec’s fingers silently. Time escaped them and they were startled by the knocking on the door.

“Catarina and Madzie are here,” Magnus said, standing and snapping his finger to open the door and allow them through his wards. 

Alec stood with him, standing close so that their arms touched as the door opened to reveal the two female warlocks. 

“Hello Cat, hello sweat pea,” Magnus said, not moving from his spot, knowing Alec needed the physical reminder that he was there, safe and sound. 

“Magnus! Alec!” Madzie exclaimed, rushing inside and right to the two unsuspecting men. She crashed into Magnus’ legs, one of her little arms wrapping around Alec’s leg as well as she hugged the two men who had shown her nothing but kindness in her life.

“Hello Madzie, I’m glad to see you are safe,” Alec said, his hand resting on her hair. He was genuinely happy to see she was unharmed. He had been worried that the shadowhunters he had been leading at the Institute would hurt her when she locked him in the elevator. He had no idea she was gong to be the one who hurt them. Never the less, she was a child who had been manipulated and had needed to be protected and saved, not attacked. 

“I’m sorry I pushed you with my magic,” She said, mumbling it into his legs.

“I know why you did it. Thank you for protecting me,” Alec said. Although he hated that his teammates had died while he was kept safe, he knew she had been scared and only following orders.

“Now sweat pea, are you hungry? Tired?” Magnus asked, trying to ascertain what Madzie needed in the moment so he could get back to getting Alec what he needed.

“Hungry,” she said softly, looking up at Magnus with sad looking eyes. 

“How about…” Magnus trailed off, realizing he knew very little about what children like to eat. Sure he had been around them during his long life, but they had always been accompanied by their parents and hadn’t been solely his responsibility. 

“Grilled cheese?” Alec offered, knowing that Max loved it as a child and generalizing that information. Madzie didn’t say anything, just smiled and nodded. “Do you want to help me make it?” Alec asked, thinking it would give Magnus a moment to talk to Catarina alone. As much as he didn’t want to let Magnus out of his sight, he could tell Catarina needed to talk to Magnus without the ears of a child around. 

Magnus met his eyes and silently asked if Alec was truly alright with the situation, Alec just smiled warily as he led the young warlock out of the living room and into the kitchen. He could still turn and see Magnus if he wanted to, but he put on a brave face and tried to smile as he walked away.

“He’s cute,” Catarina said as soon as Alec was out of earshot. She had yet to meet the young man who had enamored her friend and was honestly surprised by how young he was.

“Yes he is,” Magnus said with a fond smile. 

“Magnus, as much as I’d love to catch up with you and gossip like in the old days, we both know there are very pressing matters at hand. The soul sword was activated, all those lives lost?” Catarina said, astonished. 

“Valentine is a bigger danger than last time, even in custody he stands to be the biggest threat we’ve ever faced,” Magnus said solemnly. 

“What are we going to do?” Catarina asked, looking to Magnus for some hope. Although she was older, she knew he had been through a lot, and seen a lot, in his life.

Magnus opened his mouth to answer but they were interrupted by laughter coming from the kitchen. Both turned their gaze to the kitchen where Alec had Madzie up on a chair, looking at her with a fake-angry look on his face. Magnus could barely make out the smear of butter that seemed to run across Alec’s shirt. 

“We are going to rely on that, on shadowhunters and downworlders coming together and caring enough for one another to work as one force against Valentine and his hate,” Magnus said with a smile. 

“I only hope that will be enough,” Catarina said, a small smile making its way across her face as well as she witnessed the scene play out in the kitchen. She knew Alec Lightwood was different than many shadowhunters, the open affection he had for those that were close to him and lack of reaction he had to hers and Madzie's warlock marks mades him the exception. She only hoped that there were enough shadowhunters out there like this young man to make it all work.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Madzie/Alec moments!! Alec is clearly so loving and would make such a wonderful dad!! I'm almost tempted to turn this into a series and make more Madzie/Alec/Magnus moments. Hopefully you all enjoyed!


End file.
